You've got your opinions about Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains, and so do a quartet of Canada's foremost television critics.

Here's what TV Guide Canada's Amber Dowling, The National Post's Michael Bolen, Dose.ca's Kat Angus and veteran TV critic Bill Brioux had to say about this week's episode of Survivor.

Amber Dowling, TV Guide Canada
We learned two things last night: the Heroes didn’t need chocolate since they’ve manufactured their own brand of Cocoa Puffs, and JT is terrible at being a villain.

It’s no surprise the Heroes continue to lose challenge after challenge, considering the latter games of Survivor have all boasted lopsided teams going into the merge. Plus, every single booted contestant admits the Villains have fewer egos, and have bonded better.

The Heroes went into this thing with predetermined alliances, with plans for post-merge. You could see it no Parvati’s face when she found out last night Cirie was eliminated. JT can spin his vote reasons all he wants, but he’s aware of that power and is trying to use it to his advantage. Unfortunately, everyone knows he’s lying, and now it looks as though his strongest ally, James, won’t be able to walk the rest of the game.

That won’t matter for now, because when the show returns Russell and Boston Rob will have the showdown I’ve been predicting for weeks. If they don’t lose the challenge I think Russ will somehow throw it or play with his teammates minds beforehand, and it looks as though Coach and Parvati will follow. After all, they have that blasted hidden immunity idol, and there’s a way to sucker Jerri, Danielle and Sandra into the Boston blindslide.

Welcome to Kingdom Russell.

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- Amber is the editor of TV Guide Canada and worries about the Villains' stomachs after all that chocolate..

 

Michael Bolen, National Post's theampersand.ca
During a relatively uneventful episode, idols once again dominated the strategic landscape. Russell’s discovery put him in a much stronger position — allowing him to solidify his bond with Parvati and reach out to Coach. All his machinations were aimed at severing Rob’s head, and with at least three votes and an idol he’ll likely be able to eliminate at least one rival. The question is: what will he do after that?

Last week, it seemed as if Tom played his idol perfectly by eliminating a key rival and ingratiating himself with his tribe’s power player, JT. But instead of putting him in the driver’s seat, it simply highlighted the danger he posed and helped to send him home. Even if Russell does manage to blindside Rob (something that seems unlikely considering that the Bostonian can see him coming from a mile away) he’ll still be left with a tribe that doesn’t trust him. Even with Coach’s undying loyalty, he’ll likely need to repeat his Foa Foa feat and rustle up a few more idols in order to survive.

Then again, the way things are going the Villains may never have to face Tribal again (Although they may soon lose Courtney when she disappears from the visible world entirely. It’s called food. You eat it.) James’ knee injury and Tom’s departure have left the Heroes weaker than ever. Their chronic inability to solve puzzles is clear evidence that they just aren’t very smart.

Despite deceiving his friends, JT continues to dominate his alliance with Amanda, James and Rupert. His gullible allies are too apathetic to make any moves of their own, preferring to be carried along like cattle being fattened for slaughter. Worst of all is Amanda, who sees what JT is doing but fails to take any action. If she has any sense she’ll discard JT for the only player easier to manipulate than her — Colby. Who gives away the million dollars? You would have to be stupid …

- Michael Bolen blogs for the National Post’s theampersand.ca and nd practices his own unique style of Tai Chi. You can read his full recap of Episode 5 of Heroes vs. Villains here.

 

Kat Angus, Dose.ca
Oh, Heroes. Oh, Heroes.

It’s not that I actually thought they would win the immunity challenge this week – the promo told us that Russell had to watch his back, and since the promos are never to be trusted, that was a pretty clear sign the Villains would be taking the immunity idol this week. Again. Some more. But even though the challenge involved yet another puzzle, there was still a part of me holding out hope that the Heroes would finally get their act together and show the Villains what-for.

Unfortunately, yet again, the Heroes just couldn’t overcome the obstacles in their way: 1) the giant puzzle, 2) James’ bum leg from the reward challenge (which, naturally, the Heroes also lost) and 3) James being put in the position of team communicator, when he usually only opens his mouth to denigrate women and talk about how great he is. So it’s one more pathetic loss for the Heroes and one more week of Survivor just making me feel sad.

OK, but even after they lost the challenge, this would be the perfect opportunity to get rid of James, right? He’s awful, he contributes nothing strategically and, with his leg out of commission, he’s not even a physical asset to the team anymore. So he’s out, right? Right?

Sorry, Tom. I wish you and your wonderful accent had stuck around longer. (Also, JT? For flipping your vote, you are dead to me.)

I mean, really: Tom? Sure, he is James’ biggest detractor, but with James sidelined, Tom is the Heroes’ strongest player – which they clearly need, since even Colby admitted they only shine during wrestling-based challenges. But clearly the Heroes tribe is only interested in their post-merge game, even if that means losing over and over again until that time comes. Oh, Heroes.

- Kat Angus is the TV editor for Dose.ca. She’s tried and failed to imitate Tom’s accent.

 

Bill Brioux, TV Feeds My Family
The Heroes continued to be Zeros, losing the chocolate challenge, going down with another injury (James’ knee gave out under the weight of his ego plus all that steroid-induced muscle mass) and blowing yet another immunity puzzle challenge. Then they dug themselves an even deeper hole by voting off this game’s savviest strategist, Tom. They guy who should have gone is James, who can’t walk anymore and, as Tom says, is “all mass, no class.”

The swing vote was cast by J.T., who cemented his rep as a wishy-washy weasel.

On the Villain tribe, Russell scratched around for days until he found the coveted immunity idol. He plans to whack Boston Rob out of the game with it. Next week they say mean things to each other (and they do it a day early as Survivor moves to Wednesdays for two weeks due to the annual March Madness college basketball tournament).


- Bill Brioux is losing his own chocolate challenge at TV Feeds My Family.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains returns Wednesday, March 24 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Global/CBS.


 

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