As much as I love Hubby, there are some things I’ll never quite understand about him. First is his compulsion to watch every Elvis Presley movie and special that swaggers across the screen – even if he’s seen it a zillion times before.

Second is the habit he’s gotten into this month of watching the horror movies banked on The Movie Network and Mpix On Demand. The original 1980 version of Prom Night, Scream, the Friday the 13th flicks … he’s been glued to them all, either in spite of or because of the fact that they give me the willies. (Yup, even Prom Night – I’m a total wuss.)

It all got me thinking, as I huddled in my bed pretending I couldn’t hear the shrieks from the TV screen, about classic Halloween episodes bestowed by retro shows. Stuff that didn’t totally freak me out, but was enough to make me turn on my Smurfs night light.

Sure there are entire spooky series, like The Addams Family and The Munsters, but here are my Top 10 spooky TV instalments in no particular order – see if you agree.

1. The Twilight Zone, "The Eye of the Beholder"
Original airdate: Nov. 11, 1960
Those eerily malformed pig-people! Seriously, didn’t you recoil in shock when the faces of the hospital workers were revealed to have abnormally large brows, curled lips and pig-like snouts? Plus, there was a social message – like the title says, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

2. Beverly Hills, 90210, “Halloween”
Original airdate: Oct. 31, 1991
One of my all-time favourite teen angsty dramas whooped it up at a Halloween party. Brenda and Dylan (Shannen Doherty and Luke Perry) did it up as Bonnie and Clyde, while Donna (Tori Spelling) donned a completely impractical mermaid costume. Kelly (Jennie Garth) came as a “friendly witch” but was almost raped by a college kid. Lucky for her, Steve (Ian Ziering) punched the dude out.

3. Home Improvement, “The Haunting of Taylor House”
Original airdate: Oct. 28, 1992
I wasn’t a huge Home fan, and only laughed occasionally at the ineptitude of Tim Taylor (Tim Allen). But this ep sticks out in my mind for Tim’s over-the-top haunted house featuring the "Catacombs of Terror." Featuring fake monkey skulls, Tim dressed as a lady zombie, and Al’s head on a platter.

4. Roseanne, "BOO!"
Original airdate: Oct. 31, 1989
The first of many Roseanne Halloween episodes, this one featured the Halloween-crazy Connors decking out their house as the "Castle of Terror," as well as Dan and Roseanne (John Goodman and Roseanne Barr) pulling pranks on each other.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Halloween"
Original airdate: Oct. 27, 1997
This was the first of the show’s Halloween eps, and in it all the demons and vampires inhabiting Sunnydale shunned the macabre holiday. But things got weird when everybody started turning into whatever their costumes were: Xander (Nicholas Brendon) became a soldier, Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) was a fair maiden, and Willow (Alyson Hannigan) morphed into a ghost. 

6. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Original airdate: Oct. 27, 1966
It’s not an episode, per se, but I just couldn’t leave Charlie off this list. This special transcends generations. In it, despite naysayers, Linus believes that the Great Pumpkin will appear in the pumpkin patch. One poignant line came from the hopeful believer himself: "There are three things I've learned not to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin."

7. Friends, “The One with the Halloween Party”
Original airdate: Nov. 1, 2001
Everything always comes down to Friends, doesn’t it? At least it seems that way to me, an ardent fan of the titular sextet. In this eppy, Monica and Chandler (Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry) throw a costume party. Chandler ends up with a big pink bunny get-up, Monica was Catwoman, Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) was Super Girl, pregnant Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) was a woman who wouldn’t soon fit into the dress she was wearing, Ross (David Schwimmer) was Sputnik, and Joey (Matt LeBlanc) was Chandler. Laughing. Out. Loud.

8. Married ... With Children, “Take My Wife, Please”
Original airdate: Oct. 24, 1993
On one particularly haunting Halloween, the Grim Reaper visited Al (Ed O'Neill) in the form of an ebony-haired Peg (Katey Sagal). The deal is that if Al’s family admits they need him, the Grim Reaper will leave him alone and go reaping somewhere else. Meanwhile, Bud (David Faustino), Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Peg spend the night impersonating the Village People ad nauseum at a Halloween party.

9. Saturday Night Live Halloween Special
Original airdate: Oct. 28, 1991
Sigh. SNL rocked in the early ‘90s, didn’t it? This ghoulish spread featured sketches such as the Top 10 Excellent Babe Costumes and the Top 5 Worst Halloween Treats courtesy of “Wayne's World,” “The Exorcist II,” and a reading of “The Raven” by Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein. Another SNL fave: Adam Sandler’s cheap costume ideas, which aired the following year. Still cracking up at Smiley Boy, About-To-Sneeze Man and Crazy Guy Under The Desk.

10. The Brady Bunch, “Fright Night”
Original airdate: Oct. 27, 1972
It’s a very Brady Halloween! This ep featured the girls and boys scaring each other with pranks like a fake ghost, but after getting a talking-to from the parentals, they conspire to freak out Alice (Ann B. Davis). But alas, they end up pranking Mike and Carol (Robert Reed and Florence Henderson) instead.

What’s your favourite classic Halloween episode? melissa@tvguide.ca

RETRO BITS AND PIECES
• Wedded SpongeBliss
Didja hear that our favourite square-trousered underwater dweller will tie the knot? In the one-hour episode “Truth or Square” airing Nov. 6, at 8 p.m. ET on Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants will marry Sandy Cheeks. The nuptials will be part of a flashback, and Ricky Gervais will narrate the episode. Guest voices include Rosario Dawson, Craig Ferguson, Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, LeBron James, Pink, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Robin Williams.

CLIP OF THE WEEK
Obviously, I’m going ghoulish here with classic Valley Girl vamp Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Here she is on Elvira’s Movie Macabre introducing one of my favourite film cheesefests, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.



 

 

Whether a show invaded TV in the ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s or ‘80s, Melissa will likely think it’s hep, groovy, dyn-o-mite or totally awesome. Her ever-expanding classic TV on DVD collection includes Three’s Company, Beverly Hills, 90210 and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. She has a soft spot for anything retro – heck, she even married an ex Elvis tribute artist.
Though her fave current series are quirky ones, like Flight of the Conchords, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Reaper, How I Met Your Mother and The Late Late Show, Melissa is on a quest to rediscover forgotten shows and classics of TV screens past. Her RetroChick mission is simple: to dish retro news, tease your brain with trivia, indulge in nostalgia and catch up with past icons. The question is, can you dig it?