10 Signs You Grew Up in the 90s

The other day, I was cruising Wendy’s for a thick, juicy, mouth-watering … salad. (Sigh. Diets are no fun.) But what piqued my interest – other than the Mandarin Chicken greens – was the tune the store was playing on its rinky-dink system.

It was Bel Biv Devoe’s 1990 single “Poison,” and it was as awesome as I remembered it. With so much of the ‘80s seeping into pop culture lately, the trip back to my days of plaid shirts, bodysuits and baggy jeans was a refreshing lark. “Never trust a big butt and a smile.” Ahh … good times.

Then, as I dipped my plastic fork into my low-fat vinaigrette, pretending it was blue-cheese dressing, I started remembering all the other touch points of the ‘90s and my teens.

A few weeks later, when I was chatting with Erin Karpluk about the second season of her time-travelling dramedy Being Erica, she too reminisced about the ‘90s.

“What were we thinking? The music was fantastic in the ‘90s, the movies were great, but the fashion …” she trailed off, rolling her eyes. “Big, bushy eyebrows. bodysuits – they were good because you didn’t have to tuck them into your high-waisted mom jeans. Bad news.”

Well, I’ve put together 10 signs that you may have grown up in the ‘90s, kind of like Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck if …” jokes but for Gen Xers. Enjoy the trip back and send me your ideas – I’ll try to post them in an upcoming column. melissa@tvguide.ca

1. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you know all the words to Adam Sandler’s "Chanukah Song." All together now: “Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah! It’s so much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah!” With him, Chris Farley, Norm Macdonald and David Spade, Saturday Night Live ruled my weekends.

2. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you choose to ignore MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Flavor Flav’s exploits in the reality show bottom feeder. Instead, you fondly think of the time when Hammer-pants, cleverly shaved eyebrows and giant clock-necklaces were cool. And then you do the Running Man.

3. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you read the words “things that make you go hmmm...” and think of the like-titled 1990 C+C Music Factory hit song. You’re even more hardcore if you remember it from The Arsenio Hall Show. Way to keep the Dogpound alive, yo.

4. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … news that the first season of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose has hit DVD made you squeal like a schoolgirl. It certainly did here in the TVGuide.ca offices, and Amber Dowling and I jockeyed for first-viewing privileges of the cult Fox sitcom. It’s still at my house – muhahaha! By the way, Season 2 comes out Jan. 26 next year …

5. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you can’t listen to the sound of a school bell without immediately singing “When I wake up in the morning and the alarm lets out a warning, I don't think I'll ever make it on time.” Yup, it’s the Saved by the Bell theme song. (I’m ignoring Saved by the Bell: The College Years. Shudder.) Best moment was Jessie’s freak out after becoming addicted to caffeine pills. Check it out:

6. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … the names Fire Marshall Bill and Homey D. Clown trigger images of a cackling Jim Carrey and surly Damon Wayans. In Living Color was also where Jennifer Lopez busted a move as a fly girl, and Jamie Foxx was a regular. Remember his “Baby Got Back” parody video? Jokes.

7. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … blossom isn’t only a flower’s way of saying howdy to you, it’s also the reason you wore floppy hats and granny dresses for five years. Thanks to the NBC show Blossom, you also considered naming your kids after numbers, like the titular character’s BFF, Six.

8.  You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you still break out the Carlton dance to impress people at parties. Bonus points if you can mimic the dorky Fresh Prince of Bel-Air character while singing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual.”

9.  You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you pursued a career as a lifeguard because of Baywatch. Pam Anderson + red bathing suit + slow-motion = guys in heaven. If you’re a girl, I can only assume you were wooed by David Hasselhoff’s chest hair waving gently in the wind.

10. You might have grown up in the ‘90s if … you haggled with your buds over which Friends character each of you were. Plus, you still rue the day you attempted the Rachel Haircut. Ladies, you too.

melissa@tvguide.ca

RETRO BITS AND PIECES

• Ren & Stimpy return. Stimpy, you eeeeeeeediot! As Cher pointed out in the wicked-cool 1995 flick Clueless, this cartoon was way existential. Check it out on the newly-launched Nickelodeon channel in Canada, Monday to Sunday at midnight ET. In addition to classic series like Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, The Angry Beavers and CatDog, there are new faves like SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly OddParents and Dora the Explorer.

CLIP OF THE WEEK
In keeping with the ’90s theme, I would be remiss if I didn’t post a video from the 1990 New Kids on the Block album Step by Step. Here’s the title track – check out the huge pompadours and Danny’s American flag shirt. This was just before their decline, but it’s still totally fun to sing along to: Step one (one, one)! We can have lots of fun!

Whether a show invaded TV in the ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s or ‘80s, Melissa will likely think it’s hep, groovy, dyn-o-mite or totally awesome. Her ever-expanding classic TV on DVD collection includes Three’s Company, Beverly Hills, 90210 and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. She has a soft spot for anything retro – heck, she even married an ex Elvis tribute artist. Though her fave current series are quirky ones, like Flight of the Conchords, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Reaper, How I Met Your Mother and The Late Late Show, Melissa is on a quest to rediscover forgotten shows and classics of TV screens past. Her RetroChick mission is simple: to dish retro news, tease your brain with trivia, indulge in nostalgia and catch up with past icons. The question is, can you dig it?