Alas, time has not been kind to Gary Coleman. The spunky kid we saw on the ‘80s rags-meets-riches sitcom Diff'rent Strokes has recently suffered a series of unfortunate events, culminating this past weekend when he was booked on charges of domestic assault.

Of course, Coleman never had it easy. Not to get all Grey’s Anatomy on you, but he was born with a congenital kidney disease that caused focal segmental glomerulosclerosis, which halted his growth early on – he still stands at four-foot-eight.

Plus, because of two kidney transplants (one in 1973 and one in 1984), the 41-year-old actor needs daily dialysis.

After Diff'rent Strokes ended in 1985, and his catchphrase “Whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?” echoed no more, Coleman occasionally guest-starred on shows, including Martin, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Married...with Children and The Simpsons.

But, the headlines always seemed to centre on the train-wreck elements of his life; nevertheless, the Surreal Life star still shows some of the pluckiness of his Diff’rent Strokes days.

"I got 40 years in me yet. I ain't going nowhere,” he told E!Online earlier this month.

So to that end – and in celebration of Bio Channel airing TV-ography: Diff'rent Strokes this week (Feb. 1 at 9 p.m. ET) – here’s a partial timeline of obstacles the 2003 California governor candidate seems determined to overcome.

January 2008 – Coleman puts an autographed pair of size 12XL-Regular Gap Kids sweatpants on eBay to raise money for kidney dialysis. They reportedly sell for $400,000.

May 2008 – Coleman and his wife, Shannon Price, appear in two episodes of Divorce Court to air their differences, with hopes of saving their marriage.

August 2008 – While playing baseball for the Madison Mallards, Coleman is ejected from the game for unfair play.

September 2008 – He rolls a truck over a photographer’s foot outside a bowling alley, following a disagreement about the pictures the photog was taking inside. Police never issue any citations.

July 2009 – Coleman’s wife is arrested near their Utah home for suspicion of domestic violence and disorderly conduct. She’s booked on the two misdemeanours and released on a $1,205 bond.

(Incidentally, Coleman was charged with assault in 1998 after he punched a woman who asked for his autograph. He was working as a security guard at the time.)

September 2009 – He’s the face of New York Fries’ 25th anniversary campaign, appearing under the heading “After 25 years, some things are still fresh.”

But, then there’s the cheese factor – a Facebook application shows a swaying cut-out of his likeness predicting people’s future.

October 2009 – He is roundly dismissed on ABC’s Shark Tank after pitching a "Gary Coleman Bobble-head" idea.

January 2010 – Coleman suffers a seizure and checks into a Los Angeles hospital; he recovers and is released shortly after. Days later, he tells media he protests a scene in his latest straight-to-DVD film, Midgets vs. Mascots, because he claims the filmmakers used a body double for nude scenes.

"I wanted all my fans and all your fans to protest my penis being in the movie, because I didn't want that,” he tells E!Online. “It's a body double, I believe, because I certainly was not gonna do this. And I heard that the body double is ugly, and is unattractive, and does not make me look good."

Jan. 24, 2010 – Coleman is arrested on a misdemeanor charge of domestic assault and is being held on $1,725 bail. The identity of the victim has not been released. Also, it’s announced that Coleman and his wife are getting a divorce.

Sigh. What’s next for Coleman? I don’t know, but I’ll bet it can’t be any worse than shilling as a psychic fry guru. Thoughts? melissa@tvguide.ca

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RETRO BITS AND PIECES
Richard Nixon, talk show devotee? Papers released by the Richard Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, Calif., earlier this month show that the former U.S. president was suspicious of some entertainers, but craved alliances with talk-show hosts such as Johnny Carson. Not because he liked them, mind you, but because they held a key to public approval.

The Los Angeles Times says a January 1970 memo reads, “I would like to invite, even though I don’t like most of these people, Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas. This could pay off in great measure to us.” Hmm … wonder if he would have felt the same about Jay Leno right about now?


 

Whether a show invaded TV in the ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s or ‘80s, Melissa will likely think it’s hep, groovy, dyn-o-mite or totally awesome. Her ever-expanding classic TV on DVD collection includes Three’s Company, Beverly Hills, 90210 and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. She has a soft spot for anything retro – heck, she even married an ex Elvis tribute artist.
Though her fave current series are quirky ones, like Flight of the Conchords, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Reaper, How I Met Your Mother and The Late Late Show, Melissa is on a quest to rediscover forgotten shows and classics of TV screens past. Her RetroChick mission is simple: to dish retro news, tease your brain with trivia, indulge in nostalgia and catch up with past icons. The question is, can you dig it?